the sun has set

Its rained long enough here... My umbrella has broke... I have suffered way too long... It doesn't seem like life has much more to give me. My place is dark and the light is gone... Hope I once had has just faded because I'm giving up... I will not kill myself, or overdose on pills... I just wish for quick kidney failure, so I can be gone. I cannot eat, my worries so strong... My heart is broken and my relationship becoming shattered...I feel empty with no will to try... The one thing I held on to seems to despise me... He makes me cry, and gets frustrated, says things that are hurtful that he never had before, he must be sick of me....my pug doesn't wanna lay with me I'm treated like a diease...what do I have to live for anymore when everything is in pieces? I don't think ill be fixed. Or ever get through this sadness... Andy will forever suffer all my madness...I'm taking away his dream because I'm scared of losing him... If I was gone... Everyone would be happier...people say its all in my head... Fuck you assholes! Just get over it, yea I'd like to... I wish everyone would go away and let me live my life... If you don't understand me keep your fucking mouth shut! I hope my end days aremt long periods of suffering like most renal failure is... I hope it quits in my sleep and I never wake againm