wasteland

its growing darker, i can hardly see... whatever it is, is coming after me... theres no where to run theres no where to hide its just me and my fucked up mind... im being pulled against my will... they speak as if they know whats best for me.... they tell tales of my haunting memories.... here is a place that my skin begins to itch... i itch away becoming flesh and bleed it away.... little bits of me being torn off bit by bit... until theres nothing left of it.... i hold my ears and scream for help... but no one can hear me cause im all alone.... they'll feed on whatever suits them best... i am weak, i will not fight this fight.... peel my lids from off my eyes, to see the horrible being ive become... i shake down and i cry.... i see nothing anymore... i am bare broken and sore.... i do not feel laughter nor do i feel joy... its all just a weeping fantasy i left at the door.... pull my fingernails from their place... feed them to me to show me that theres life left in me.... but i wont notice anything.... i have become just a faded memory, lost and confused about why i staying here.... i close my eyes buy all i see is death... when i open my eyes all i see is sadness and fear.... there is no imagination theres nothing to make up... im a disease that will someday eat everybody up... i will feed on souls and torture those who stay.... making life miserable every god damn day.... i am a ruiner cant you see.... fucking helpless piece of shit thats wasting up taking up space needed for a better entity... eat my heart it will crumble like coal.... it is hollow and voided because ive lost and hurt so.... i try my best to be friendly and nice... but i have nothing to talk about because i know no other horrible life.... i cant fucking talk about anything else? understand that? nothing!!!!!! all i know is this horrible piece of life i have... i dont leave or go anywhere... i do not laugh... i cry all the time... im desperately sad... i feel like shit all the time.... if i am smiling im hiding tears... its just a front to make you shut the fuck up... im dead inside dont you see? nothing else lives inside me? im wasting away my wretched life... wondering where ever the hell i went.... i do not see where i will come to be anything else.... i was meant for this not anything else.... im failure at everything i have done and tried... i feel cursed and despised.... take whats left of me and just throw it away... no one even has hope in me anyway..... im a lost cause that will never be well... justa  burden to all and a nightmare to bare.... id apologize but it just wouldnt be fair... cause my sorries get me no where.... i wish they'd just fucking take me just as i am... fucking bury me 6 feet under and let me rot there... then all can be forgotten... then i wont hardly be missed.... i can stop overwheming everyone and be a torturous being...

if im still there deep inside.... come find a way out and make me smile.... take all this away and show me to forget... without all the drugs but i do not think you can....