tomorrow it will be gone

as the pill fades away and my eyes become heavy i know for at least 4 more days i will be sleeping... asleep from all this pain and asleep from all this worry to wake up for a new pill... a new pill to keep me awake through my insanity... my highs and lows.... the deep depressions and hollows i go.... nothing ever seems to fix the dark side.... but i cant lay my troubles on anyone anymore... because im too much to handle for everyone.... so i must keep to myself... and never wander from this house.... hold it all in for as long as i possibly can.... never will i become a beautiful butterfly... to spread my wings and just fly fly fly... instead ill remain locked in this cocoon, trapped with my demons and my tragic memories....  soon ill be forgotten and everyone will leave.... wondering whatever happened to me.... im a burden to everyone im come in contact with... i ruin relationships and cant even have close friends.... its not even a mystery why ive lost everyone... cause ive become everything doug said i would.... so sleep sleep while i can take away this horrible pain... let them all feel free from me... just for a few days i dont exist to anyone but me... i hate to sleep and lose my life... but its the only way out.... and without that pill to keep me awake its only sad for a couple hours a day.... so begin to forget all that ive said... ive put too much on top of your head... i cannot take just this abandonment anymore... ill be much better all alone...